


I'll Keep You Safe

by ifthejemfitz



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Future Fic, Pregnancy, Team as Family, Unplanned Pregnancy, baby!fitzsimmons, discussions of abortion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4770692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifthejemfitz/pseuds/ifthejemfitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitzsimmons accidentally get pregnant and have to decide what to do next. Can they really be shield agents and parents? Title based off song of same name by Sleeping at Last</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Oh no, oh no. This could not be happening Jemma thought, as once again she managed to pull her hair out the way as she continued to violently empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. Her continual denial to herself was now becoming impossible. She’d blamed her exhaustion on lack of sleep due to stress, her loss of appetite on being busy, her near constant state of nausea on a common stomach bug, and her recent mood-swings on extreme PMT. Some PMT, she was nearly three weeks late. She’d have to admit to herself sooner rather than later, it had been a fact she knew she’d been ignoring and excusing for the past couple of weeks. She, Jemma Simmons was pregnant, “Oh shit.”

After best attempting to compose herself Jemma had flushed away the evidence of her morning sickness and tried her upmost to present herself to the world as if nothing was wrong, which of course was most definitely not the case. What was it the British used to say again, Keep Calm and Carry On? She was pregnant, she was ninety-three percent sure of it, and now she needed to keep a level head on whilst dealing with the decisions she needed to tackle next. She would test herself to make sure her predicament was indeed correct, then if she was pregnant she would tell Fitz and discuss all the available options before making any big decisions. Yes, that’s what she, Jemma Simmons would do. Good preparation was key after all. However, as she thought all this she was quite sure that her current activity of attempting to make a Victoria sponge at twenty to five in the morning wasn’t addressing any of her concerning issues.  
Daisy had awoken with a desperate urge to pee and feeling rather peckish. Pee first then any early morning snacking before May woke up she concluded. Whilst making her way towards the kitchen she heard a clattering of pots and pans then an audible exasperated sigh. She couldn’t fathom who would be up at that time of the morning making that sort of racket. Daisy rounded the corner into the communal area to see Jemma on her knees, her head stuck far into one of the lower kitchen cupboards, feverishly pulling out an assortment of kitchen utensils. 

“Decided to apply for The Great British Bake Off Jemma?” Daisy declared sarcastically.  
“Ow!” exclaimed Jemma, evidently unaware of her friend’s presence as her surprise made her head collide with the wooden shelf above her. “Fuck sake.” she muttered, crawling back out the cupboard, rubbing the crown of her head as she registered Daisy’s smug grin and raised eyebrow. “What exactly are you doing?” she asked.  
“Looking for the weighing scales.” Jemma replied matter-of-factly, standing up as to not feel as foolish. “No I meant why have you decided to bake at this ungodly hour? You’re not stress-baking again are you Jemma?”  
“No, no absolutely not. Haven’t done that since my finals back at the academy. What a ludicrous suggestion Daisy, I’m completely fine.” She said too quickly, her words coming out all at once as her smile became too large to be genuine. She quickly turned her back on Daisy’s questioning eyes and continued to whisk the flour with the added eggs, furiously trying to blink back her tears. Dammit, her control over her emotions had already gone to shit. “You know you can tell me if there’s something wrong.” said Daisy, placing a reassuring hand on the older woman’s shoulder. 

Suddenly it was like a dam had broken inside of Jemma and her tightly pursed lips were now letting harrowing sobs escape, much to her own dismay and embarrassment. Daisy immediately embraced her in a fierce hug in reaction to her emotional outburst. “Here, sit down.” she instructed, placing her hands gently on Jemma’s shoulders and urging her to sit in the dining chair she’d pulled out for her. “What’s wrong Jemma?” Daisy questioned as she bent down to Jemma’s level, growing worry causing her take hold of the young biochemist’s hands in an expression of comfort, only to have Jemma pull them away to cover her mouth in a poor attempt to muffle her sobs. Her reaction caused Daisy to press further, determined to persuade Jemma to reveal the cause of her distress, “Honestly, whatever’s wrong I’m sure we can sort. You don’t have to keep dealing with problems by yourself anymore Jemma.”

Very slowly Jemma lowered her hands, closing her eyes she took a deep breath, and unable to make eye contact with Daisy, very softly whispered “I think…I…I think I may be pregnant.” Daisy suddenly shifted, sitting up straighter as she processed the revelation. This was most definitely not what she was expecting. Jemma Simmons wasn’t one to get overly emotional at much and when she’d caught her in such a state Daisy had assumed she’d had an almighty row with Fitz or her parents, or that she had received bad news from home. “Oh my god.” she exclaimed almost breathlessly, clearly shocked. After a few long seconds she gained the confidence to ask “Is this a good or a bad thing?” Fitzsimmons had been together romantically, and obviously sexually, for just over three years and Daisy wondered whether starting a family had ever been on the cards. 

“This is bad Daisy, very bad. I’m not ready to be a mother, I still have stuff I want to do with my life. And okay, that might sound selfish but it’s my body and my choice. My womb is not public property.” she stated adamantly, “And besides this life is not suitable for a child in any regard. Pregnancy would be just an inconvenience.” Daisy continued to rub Jemma’s upper arm reassuringly as she listened intently to Jemma’s plans, hoping she was providing her with comfort whilst in this fragile state. “What does Fitz have to say on the matter?”  
“I haven’t told him yet…What?” she proclaimed at Daisy’s concerned look and sharp intake of breath, “Fitz has enough to deal with in the lab at the moment. This is the last thing he needs. I’ve been lying to him for the past week.” she confessed ashamedly. “I’ve suspected that I could be pregnant for the past few days. I’m a biochemist, I know the symptoms. It’s just I’ve been using excuses to convince him, and myself really, to throw him off.”  
“Oh Jemma, how did you two let this happen. It’s not like Fitzsimmons to be careless when it comes to biology.” Daisy joked, miserably attempting to lighten the mood. “Well, we obviously must have gotten distracted one time.” Jemma muttered in response. She knew full well when it would of happened but there was no way in hell she was giving her best female friend the satisfaction of knowing she had conceived during an impulsive and reckless opportunity to have drunk lab sex nearly a month ago. 

“It’s too late now Daisy. What’s done is done…unfortunately. Time to deal with the consequences.” she said determinedly, wiping away the tear streaks from her cheeks. Then suddenly are confidence dissipated as another thought she’d failed to consider in her hysteria formulated at the front of her mind. “Oh god, how the hell am I going to tell May and Coulson? They’re going to be so disappointed in me.”  
“No Jemma, we could never be disappointed in you.” Both girls jumped at the sound of May, who appeared stood in the doorway, dressed in her regular morning workout gear and wearing a rare gentle expression on her face as she approached them. “We’re not going to hold this against Jemma, and I’m sure we’re all in agreement that we’ll support you whatever decisions you make.”  
“Definitely, one-hundred percent.” assured Daisy.  
“But how did you know?” asked Jemma, knowing full well that although May was an expert spy she wouldn’t snoop as low as to eavesdrop on her team mates personal conversations. The older woman put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Er...I’ve been around enough to encounter a few pregnant women in my career to recognise some symptoms.” said May, hoping the blatant lie was enough to convince Jemma and hide the fact that once upon a time she herself was reading up to prepare for motherhood herself. “But before we make any decisions we need to know if you’re pregnant for sure. There still could be a very small chance that these symptoms are the result of something else. Have you taken any tests yet?” May inquired. 

“No, I was going to earlier but my mind was frazzled so I thought that baking would distract me.” Jemma replied forlornly, glancing round at the mess she’d created in the small kitchen. “I suppose I could take a blood sample to test in the lab and -”  
“Oh no, you are in no fit state to go at yourself with needles. Besides its early so both of you get some shoes on and cover up.” ordered May, registering that the both the other women were still pyjama-clad. “Why? Where are we going?” asked Jemma, her voice raising higher in accordance with her stress levels.  
“You are taking a pregnancy test.” stated May proudly.


	2. Chapter 2

Jemma sat on the toilet lid, nervously tying and untying her fingers together to prevent herself from looking at her watch for the third time in less than thirty seconds. Once May had ordered her and Daisy to cover up the two of them jumped into the back of seats a standard black SHIELD SUV, with May in the driver’s seat. She then drove them the six miles down the road to the nearest twenty-four hour petrol station. After purchasing three of the top brand pregnancy tests, along with a range of unhealthy snacks Daisy had chosen out (she really was quite famished at this point), the three women drove the distance back to base. They ignored some of the confused glances from agents who had risen early upon their arrival, as they made their way to the sleeping quarters and to Jemma’s bunk. 

Jemma couldn’t help but glance at her watch again. She swore time had never passed this slowly in her life, not even inside the Kree rock. In another poor attempt to distract herself she started mentally reciting the elements of the periodic table, anything to stop her over-analytical mind going down a dangerous paths of what-ifs. Suddenly a rapt knock on the other side of the en-suite’s door broke her out of her thoughts. “Jemma, time’s up.” announced May, “Can you let us in?” Jemma stood up and wiped the sweat from her palms on her pyjama bottoms, before unlocking the door. May and Daisy slowly walked into the small bathroom, both peering at the three inconspicuous white plastic sticks Jemma had placed right way down on the counter above the sink. “Are you ready?” asked May.  
“As I’ll ever be I suppose.” replied Jemma quietly. She shut her eyes in fear, quickly turning over each of the test sticks, before slowly peaking her eyes open to register the two little pink pluses and a set of two blue lines staring back at her. “Well there we have it.” she stated, a tight knotting feeling in her stomach setting in that was no physical symptom of pregnancy. 

“You’ll have to tell Fitz.” said Daisy, as unsurprised by the result as Jemma was. “You may think that you’re capable of handling this all by yourself but he’s the father Jemma. He deserves the right to know and have an opinion.”   
“I know, I know.” said Jemma, as she held onto the side of the sink as the thought made another bout of uneasiness wash through her. “And like I said before, know Jemma that we’re all here to help and support you in any of the decisions you make, whether that be driving you to a clinic or helping out with night feeds.” assured May with a small but honest smile. At this stage Jemma was unsure which option sounded more desirable, but she made deliberate eye contact with the senior agent before moving forward to wrap her in an embrace that Jemma wasn’t completely sure she was expecting. “Thank you. So much. I couldn’t have gotten through it tonight without the two of you.” she said with gratitude, looking over to Daisy. “Right then…” She took a deep breath to steady herself and gathered up some loose strands of wispy hairs behind her ears, “Time to bite the bullet.”

After Jemma had washed and dressed (her stomach was far too unsettled to even attempt breakfast) she went to find Fitz to share with him the news that would turn their life upside down either way. She stopped just outside the door to their shared lab, riling herself up before entering. She clocked Fitz through the door’s window, stood at one of the benches holding up a blueprint which featured a modification for the new quinjet. She couldn’t wait at the door any longer, some of the other scientists started to notice her standing there, staring, and were giving her odd looks. “Morning Jem, here come look at this.” said Fitz, excitement evident in his tone. Jemma hesitated before approaching him. “What’s the matter Jemma?” he asked, concern growing as he registered Jemma’s lack of enthusiasm, eye contact and tight smile. “Fitz, I was wondering if I could talk to you in private.” Acknowledging the seriousness in his girlfriend’s voice he dropped the blueprints and reached out to grab her hand reassuringly, “Lead the way.”

Once they had made it back to Jemma’s bunk she was at a complete loss as to what to do next. The two of them stood awkwardly for a few seconds in the small room, the nervous and uncomfortable tension growing as Fitz scratched the back of his ear. “Maybe you should sit down.” said Jemma, gesturing towards the edge of the bed. She had a horrible feeling that Fitz may faint once she’d told him the news. “I have some important news to tell you…” she started, why did this feel so difficult she thought. Wasn’t finding out that you were about to become a father a happy moment? She grimaced at herself for ruining this moment for him. “I’m sorry it may come as a bit of a shock.”  
“Are you breaking up with me?” he asked solemnly.  
“WHAT?” How could he think that? The last thing she wanted was to go through this on her own. “No, it’s not that no. It’s…I…” she hesitated.   
“Jemma, please just tell me. You’re starting to scare me a little now.” Fitz admitted, taking hold of both of Jemma’s hands from where he sat. She took another deep breath and counted down from three. “I’m pregnant.” she finally announced quietly, squeezing her eyes shut childishly, too scared to peak at his immediate reaction. 

“Oh God.” he said. Fitz closed his eyes and ran one of his hands through his already unkempt hair. Seeing as the news had distressed him already Jemma’s emotions got the better of her once again. “I’m sorry. Oh my god, please don’t be mad with me.” she blubbed.   
“What?” Fitz said astonished, his eyes growing wide in confusion. “Jemma I could never be mad with you. Don’t be silly, c’mere.” He led her to sit next to him on the bed, wrapping his arms comfortingly around her as she continued to cry into his shoulder. “Hey, please don’t get upset.” he whispered into her hair, “I should be the one apologising, I got you into this mess. I’m going to help you through this.” he said, lifting her head up and staring her in the face so that she knew he meant every word. 

He sighed then, mentally kicking himself. “When did this happen? We’ve always been so careful.”   
“That time in the lab.” she answered, “The second time. When we’d played card games with the others when May and Coulson had been away at that conference and Hunter had brought Whiskey.”   
“Of course.” he said, blushing at the recollection. That had been quite some sex. It was the only time Fitz was sure they hadn’t used a form of contraception. “So that makes you about three weeks gone.” His mind quickly doing the math. Jemma nodded meekly at the statement. “Does anyone else know yet?” he asked, unsure of how he’d feel if he was one of the last on base to know.   
“Only May and Daisy.” affirmed Jemma, “Daisy caught me this morning stress-baking and I was in a fairly bad state, then May arrived on the way to her morning workout and drove us to buy some tests. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you it’s just I didn’t want to stress you out if it turned out I wasn’t.”  
“No honestly, it’s fine Jemma. I understand.” he assured her, “I’m just glad you had someone there for you. I know what kind of state you can get in when you’re left to worry alone.” They both smiled knowingly at each other, both recalling multiple breakdowns the two of them had had before exams back in their Academy days. “Oh Fitz, what are we going to do?”

From that Fitz knew that perhaps this would be more of a difficult situation than he had expected. He could just recall his mother lecturing him on safe sex in his mid-teens, all of which he’d ignored because A) He was a child prodigy, and B) No one was having any sort of sexual contact with him anytime soon. Oh he wished he’d acted in her advice now. “Jemma we don’t have to decide right away. You’re not even a full month gone so there’s still plenty of time to make a decision. Why don’t we let ourselves both process this and calm down, then maybe when we’ve adjusted a little we can start discussing it properly, yeah?” He reached up to cup Jemma’s jaw and her honey speckled eyes glinted back at him, still wet from tears. The first true smile broke out across her face since entering the room, of which he returned before kissing her soundly. Jemma was astounded by how much the man in front of her had matured, for he was no longer the nervous bumbling boy she’d met at Sci-Tech nearly fifteen years ago. The thought made her want to kiss him harder, but she was most definitely sure that it was that sort of impulsive action that had landed them in this mess in the first place. “You’re right.” she stated, “Its better we discuss this when our minds are in a better place and we have more time on our hands. Besides we have work to be getting back to and I don’t think Coulson would appreciate us falling behind.” She reluctantly broke away from his embrace, standing and making her way to the door.

“Jemma, just so you know the decision on whether to keep this…” He was reluctant to call it a ‘baby’. On a cellular level he knew it was nothing more than a fertilized zygote, a minute clump of indistinguishable cells, but he ploughed on. “It’s something we need to decide on together. It may be ours but ultimately you get final say.”  
“Fitz -” she interjected, unsure of where he was trying to take this.  
“No Jemma hear me out.” he said in confidence. “I’m not going to hold it against you if you want an abortion. I’m not going to force you and your body to go through something as life changing as pregnancy and childbirth. That’s wrong.” He declared adamantly, “But if you want to keep it then I’m going to be there for you, both of you, I promise.”  
“Oh, Fitz” said Jemma, tears over spilling once again as she embraced him. Her heart with almost fit to burst with the love she had for him in that moment.  
“We’re in this together Jemma, like we always are and I’m here to support you whatever. I’ll be beside you.”  
“The whole damn time?” she whispered over his shoulder.  
He chuckled in response, “The whole damn time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Coulson shares his opinions on the matter and Fitzsimmons make their final decision. Once again, any constructive criticism is welcome. Next chapter within the next 2-3 days.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Next chapter to come within the next 2-3 days.


End file.
